Fur baby🐱

Story time.

Tyler and I visited our local animal shelter because we were bored one day. We knew well that this was a bad idea for us, but we promised we would not allow ourselves or each other to fall in love with any animal there. We could get one after I move out, but not now.

Then we saw this little girl.

We should have known better than to go there. Of course we’d fall in love. This little one had the most adorable little face. She was very quiet and shy. We found out she was still unadoptable, as she had only been brought in to the shelter 4 days prior and hadn’t had her surgery yet. This was last Monday, 3/9.

We couldn’t help it. We talked to the people at the front desk and had them put an adoption interest on her and we resolved to find a way to have her now. 

Tyler and I went back every single day to check on her, except Friday. Each day we found that although she was on the list to be spayed soon, she remained unadoptable and stuck in that little cage where we weren’t even allowed to hold her. But she got to know us. She’d meow at us when she saw us, and rub against the opening of the cage so we could pet her as best we could. By the end of the week she had a name. 

Evangeline. Evie. 

We still didn’t know how we could have her. By this time his family had made it very clear that a kitten was not welcome in their home, as they have 5 dogs and 2 cats already. At my home I have 2 dogs and 2 cats. And a hamster, who was tyler and I’s first fur baby. 

When the next week (this week) rolled around, I had to work and could not go see her, so tyler called. On Monday she had not yet had her surgery. So they said. On Tuesday, St. Patty’s Day, tyler called again. 

She had had surgery on Monday. Finally, after 8 days of waiting for her, she was ready to be adopted. And– it just so happened that they were having a St. Patrick’s Day sale on all cats. (Side note: this irks me, a shelter having a “sale.” It worked out nicely for our adoption of Evie but I do not believe this is something shelters should do. To me it only encourages “buyers” that may just be looking for a cheap deal. But these are animals, not things. If you’re truly looking to adopt, a sale shouldn’t drive you to do it. To me, if you adopt because you heard there would be a sale at the shelter, don’t do it. You’re doing it for the wrong reason and you may not be giving that animal a good home. But I digress.) Tyler brought Evie home that day.



To hold her and pet her freely felt so amazing. To finally get her out of that god forsaken cage she’d been so lonely in. I nearly cried when I held her for the first time. My little love. 

Evie is staying with a friend of ours for a little while, no more than a month. Just until I move into an apartment. I am forever grateful she was willing to take her in while we wait more for her to be with us for good. God she’s worth it though. Everything just aligned so well for us to have her. She’s just a complete joy and sweetheart. Little angel. 

A little display of her adorable playful self



The chair was her favorite. She would make it spin sometimes and sit there so confused.

It may not have been the most responsible thing in the world to adopt her when we had no place for her with us right now. But I couldn’t pass her up. I am blessed with amazing friends who are willing to help us out until we can take her and I am grateful for that. 

But. We have a new baby and couldn’t be happier.

Social🐛

I’ve decided to make a YouTube channel. It’s not created yet, but I think it will be a great outlet for me. I’m not at all expecting to receive much attention from it, and the nature of it will probably only attract a small number of people anyway. I want to do it for me. 

So it’s be very much a rant channel. By that I mean it would be a lot of myself talking about the things I have strong opinions on, and things that I just need to say. Again I’m honestly doing it more for myself than anything else. Hopefully it’ll be pretty fun! I’ll probably set it up tomorrow. When I do I’ll edit this post to include the deets. 

Changes🌹

I’m kicking myself for not keeping up with this. I’ve had so much to say but I haven’t come here to say it for reasons I do not know. But, nevertheless! I have updates to report and I am SO excited.

So, first off, I’m getting a new-to-me car! This is extremely exciting to me, because although I drive a fairly nice car right now -2004 Toyota Camry- it was previously my fathers commute car. Therefore it has nearly 200,000 miles on it. I’m not allowed to take it anywhere more than half an hour away, because its issues make my father think it will just fry and he wants to extend its life as long as it’ll go. But! My grandma is car shopping and she will be giving me her old car! Which is a year older, but still a Toyota and with a TON less miles. I’m super excited!

I’m going in order of life importance here, fyi.

Second. I have fulfilled an item on my Better checklist. I have a new job! It couldn’t have come soon enough. And it’s NOT RETAIL! Hell yes. For now I’m keeping my old job as well but I have a fuuuuunny feeling that won’t last long.

And third. Most important of the 3. Also most unexpected, but oh so needed. Im moving out of my parents house! So, I’m not going into detail here, just because that’s not what this post is entirely about and I could go on for days, but it’s basically time for my to grow my own wings and just to live my own life. I’m now 20 years old (had a birthday, what’s good) and something kind of clicked. It’s time. I may have a pretty damn good deal living at home but I need to get out into the world. It’s time.

So life it pretty damn good right now! That’s all I have to say 🐡

p.s. Any previous posts that pertain to this one I have linked in the post. Check em out if ya haven’t, they go into greater detail.



And more of my dogs, because really. Who doesn’t love fluffay puppays 🐶

Together.

I’ve mentioned before in a previous post that I have been with my fiancé for 5 years. I’ve also mentioned that I am 20 years old. So put 2 and 2 together and it doesn’t take much to figure out that Tyler and I met as barely teenagers.

We were 14 and 15 to be exact. Freshman in marching band. He played the tuba, I played the flute. It was ⭐️destiny⭐️. 

Lol really though, it was a funny thing. I was best friends with his step sister in 5th grade, and the summer before that school year I had actually met him at an audition for a community play. He could do the alphabet in sign language, he knew the words to songs from Phantom of the Opera. I was infatuated, to be honest. 

We became really close friends all throughout marching season, from July to November. I would talk to my girl friends about him, asking if they thought we’d ever be together or if they thought he liked me. They got annoyed. I didn’t care. Then, on December 6, 2009, we started dating. And here we are.

Now, I know the thoughts going through many heads right now. We’re too young. We’re STILL too young. Things change. You grow up and grow apart. Life will take you different directions. 

The general consensus on high school relationships is that they don’t work. I get it. I’m going to address some things about that though. 

If your relationship is able to get through the little things~ the unimportant high school drama, the immaturity. Guess what will happen. You may last. You may find something.

Tyler and I never found ourselves growing apart. We were young and susceptible to being easily influenced. We influenced each other. In that way, we grew together. We grew to know each other deeply. We watched, and are still watching, each other get a foothold on life but instead of fighting it out alone we do it together. As a unit. As a couple. Because we have been together since we were so young we have had the upper hand in knowing what we want for our future. We are stronger because as battles come we have never found ourselves without someone beside us. We learn from each other’s mistakes and grow as we watch the other grow. 

It’s all together. Grow together. Learn together. Fail together. Win together. Succeed together. Be molded and formed together. Together is the direct link to our relationship’s success. Whereas in other relationships that begin later, the individuals are just that– individual. They have to fit their already formed lives together like pieces of a puzzle. However, tyler and I are no less individuals. We are individuals, together. We share and differ in interests and opinions and if we didn’t we would not have a relationship. But because we found (and are still finding) our individuality with the help of the other, our puzzle pieces fit together much more easily. 

Also a major key for us is how we’ve stuck together.  This is suuuuuper important regardless of your age or how long you’ve been together. We are accepting of each other’s faults. We never have and never will expect perfection out of the other. We’re not going to break up over something stupid, like some quirk the other has. That doesn’t make sense to us. And this was how it was while we were very young also. Other couples were breaking up because girl didn’t like how boy’s hair was styled, or boy thought girl laughed weird, but these were the superficial, stupid things that we learned to overlook very early on. That is what brought us to where we are now. 

This came out much more poetic than intended but don’t let that take away from the truth of what I’m trying to get across. I honestly want people to just understand that a relationship isn’t doomed based on age. We love each other more than anything and our love only grows, as we’re still learning things about each other and getting closer. 



Then. Good god, loving that yellow hair Laura. What on earth.



Now. Thank baby Jesus for puberty.

Better.

Much of my intention in writing this blog is to keep track of my road to bettering myself. This somewhat goes along with my last post, in that these are things, goals actually I guess, that I want to have happen in my life. 

So, checklist time. As time goes on I’m really looking forward to checking off each of these things…

  • Lose all of the weight I’ve gained since I started college by May.

I always thought I’d be more careful. Since I live at home still I didnt understand how I even could gain weight, because my eating habits wouldn’t change… 25 lbs later oh how wrong I was. 

  • Set myself a constant workout regimen.

This goes hand in hand with my previous bullet point. Part of the reason I gained the weight to begin with is because I stopped exercising. Being in marching band in high school kept me thin and fit, but when that ended for good it all went down the drain. Now I need to force myself to keep a constant routine of going to the gym on certain days at certain times, if not daily.

  • No more meat🍗🚫

Although I do hope this will help with previous bullets, actually I’m sure it will, that is not the entire reason for this one. It is largely due to the fact that I rarely eat meat anyway, just because I don’t like it, and the meat I eat most often is processed fast food meat. That’s just not healthy, regardless of whether I’m trying to lose weight or not. Also- I love animals and when I truly think about what I’m eating it completely disgusts me.

I started that one a couple of weeks ago. I’ve fallen off the train a few times. Work in progress, lifestyle change is hard.

  • Join a beginner adult ballet class

Seems like a random one, I know. It’s just something I regret not doing as a kid and I’ve always wanted to try it out. I went to my fiance’s little sister’s dance competition today, and that aallwwaayyss gets me going on wishing I could dance. So there’s that.

  • Volunteer at a hospital

My ultimate goal is to get my masters in neonatal nursing, to become a neonatal nurse practitioner. I need to get in to a hospital to become accustomed to the surroundings, as well as it looking nice on a résumé.👍

  • Get some new “modifications”

This one may seem like it shouldn’t be on a list of things I want to do to better myself. But let me assure you, this one is actually quite important. By modifications, I mean tattoos and a few ear piercings (conch, third lobes, second helix. Tattoos I will not reveal until I have them😊). But mostly tattoos. I love tattoos. I have plans for multiple. But this is one of those things that I feel like I can’t do, even though I’m going on 20 years old. But this will be a huge push for me into really being able to show myself in my true colors. 

  • Get a new job before April

I hate my job. I hate working retail. Hours are horrible, pay is horrible, people are horrible. Time to move on. 

  • Read more

I love to read. I busted through 8 or 9 books during this last summer break. Now school has completely impeded my ability to devote as much time as I want to it. But I miss my thrillers😢 (anyone with recommendations on thriller/mystery/horror books you loved please do tell).

  • Take better care of my skin

I have a daily and nightly skin care routine, but I need to be better about it, as well as continue to search for the products that work best for me.

This is also for my body. I have eczema and really need to take care of it better.

  • Be musical

Sounds funny, yes. I’ve been a musician since I was 5 years old, I’ve played the piano for 15 years, flute for 10, guitar for 9, and bass for 8. I adore it. I tried to go that route in college, but it wasn’t for me. But now for the first time, I’m not in any lessons or ensembles or anything. I need to make sure I don’t lose it. 

Aaaaaaaaand yeah. That’s all I can think of right now. More may be added as they come of more importance. 

Fiancée❤️

A little something about me- I’m engaged!

This isn’t a recent thing necessarily but I still get a whoosh of excitement when I think about it.

Tyler and I have been together for 5 years. We have been through a lot, regardless of our young age. But this isn’t about that.

What I really want to talk about is just how it feels to be a fiancée. How our relationship has changed since being engaged. I love talking about this. I love it. I want to tell the world, about how we fought the odds and came out on top. 

Ok so you wouldn’t think that a ring on your finger would change you. But it does. It changes everything. All of the sudden my world became about our future. I felt the need to take care of this other person who means so much to me, to make him happy. Now of course these things didn’t come out of nowhere, I felt them just as dating couple as well. But something does click in your mind when it goes from hoping you’ll marry this person, to I am going to marry this person for reals. The twinge of slight worry you have that things may not work out is gone, replaced by surety as slowly but surely everything goes from “I” and “my” and “mine” to “we” and “us” and “ours.”

It’s a wonderful feeling, knowing that you have found the one person in this world that you belong with. The search is over, you can begin sharing the rest of your lives. I just adore that. The fact that there was someone who fits me exactly as I need, who I fit exactly as he needs, is just incredible to me. There is no greater feeling than to be loved by another, whom you love in return. It’s a love that has been fought for, sacrificed for- and now after the work we’ve put in, we get to spend forever living in that love.

You feel so lucky, you know? To know that you’re one of the people fortunate enough to have found the one who completes you, when many never do. 

I’m so in love.



To live🌾

Right now, it is 3:05 am. I do all of my deepest thinking in bed in these hours, after I get home from staying at my fiance’s house as late as I can. (Oh! Yes. I am engaged.😍 I shall write on this later.)

I am turning 20 in less than a month. It has really begun to hit me. I can feel it; the adult responsibilities, my future taking shape in the midst. To be truthful, I’m ready. But. More than simply being ready to take on adulthood, I am ready to be treated as an adult. 

This is my current burden. As everything is coming within my reach, as I get more and more excited to see everything I have dreamed start to come to life, I find that I am held back by the simple fact that most people in my life do not see me as an adult. 

Hell, let’s be honest here. I don’t feel completely like an adult. But I also know that this is a common thing. Adults are just children with experience. However, this doesn’t mean that I should still be considered as a child. I have my own opinions, thoughts, values, beliefs… Yet I still feel like if my parents found out they were different than theirs I’d “get in trouble.” I live in this consistently. The inability to speak for myself and do the things I desire for myself for fear that somehow it’s not okay.

Who’s to say what’s not okay for me to decide what I want to do in my life.

I’m very different than my parents. Mostly in regards to what we believe and how we think. My parents don’t actually know me very well, because I let them assume I am like them.  There are topics, controversial and not, that I simply do not talk about because I know I will be shot down. 

But why do I feel like I can’t be me. 

You know that song that’s popular right now, by some boy band or something probably, that has the line “I owned every second that this world could give, I saw so many places and things that I did, and with every broken bone, I swear I lived”? That’s what I want. I want to be able to say that. I feel like life is starting now with different opportunities knocking and I’m stuck in the same place while everyone moves around me. I need to break free. 

I need to live. To own every second. To make my life while I’m free and young everything I want. 

Now, um, if anyone has any advicey type things to say, please feel free. Understand this. This is not a desire for rebellion, this is a desire to have myself be entirely accepted by those closest to me, but also most different. I know I am not becoming who they desire me to be, but I am so happy with myself for the first time in a long time. I want to live without fear of being criticized for my decisions. I need them to accept my differences. 

Really, any advicies are welcome

Aaaaaand here are my doggies because there is no blog post where pictures of dogs are not encouraged.



Blogger

For nearly a year I have been wanting to write a blog. 

There have been many different reasons as to why. But I always had one problem. What is there to say? I mean really, everything has been said before. But what could I say that would make me stand out from all the other 20-something-year-olds that want to be heard?

Then I realized the stupidity in trying to make myself different. 

I am different. I am the only me.

That is the point of becoming a blogger. I want to document me. My life. I don’t want to stare into a screen for hours trying to think of something special to write, when I have a life that is all my own that I can write about. 

At nearly 20 years old I finally feel like I am grasping at the me that I want to be. I am trying, I am failing, I am succeeding, I am learning, I am growing in myself and finding me. THAT is the point of this blog. THAT is what I want to say. 

Years from now I want to be able to look back and see how far I’ve come. I want to remember who was by my side, who encouraged me. For now, I write about life as it happens.

 

Here it begins.